Being a brain injury survivor puts me into an extremely vulnerable category. Not because I may catch what is going around quicker – which is also a frightening though, but it’s the whole anxiety that surrounds it. What if I get ill? What if I go to a place and someone there has it and passes to me? What If I touch something and I catch it? What if I don’t wash my hands properly? All these What if’s?
Then even though I have washed my hands thoroughly, I then go back and do it again because I’ve forgotten! Basically, when anything happens it gets heightened because of my anxiety from the side effect of a brain hemmohage, it just makes me so very nervous. I have said many times that there are many levels of brain injury and different spectrums, many people don’t voice what they are thinking so sometimes I feel a little responsible to just put it out there.
I was speaking to a friend and explained my thoughts and what was going through my head in terms of not wanting to go out and finding it difficult when I did due to all the questions going around in my head – her reply was simple. Whether you have a brain a injury or not – everyone is actually feeling this way. Well this just put my mind at ease because for me leaving the house is like a military operation:
- Mask check
- Hand sanitizer check
- Gloves check
- Tissues check
- Phone check
That’s really all you need ? But even paying by phone on Apple pay is an absolute stress. First you don’t know where to find the wallet on your home screen and then once you have accomplished that, you can’t authorize it because you need to take the mask off because the stupid face ID doesn’t work?!
Ok so anxiety for people is also raised when wearing a mask, it feels claustrophobic and a little uneasy, so going out wearing the mask for a long period of time is also not great for mental health. I’m looking ahead and trying to let the other person know that I’m smiling at them, however they cant even see it?
Anyway now I just feel that it too much trouble to go out so most of the time so I limit my trips out and do the things that make me feel comfortable. Going for a walk with family or friends, sitting in my garden/ home, enjoying my surroundings and even when I go to restaurants – it will only be ok if its outside. I’m making my own rules!
Brain injury survivor or not – you need to do things at your pace and comfort, not to get so worked up because its really not worth it. Surround yourself with people that understand and also value your opinions. Life is too short and its good to appreciate what you have health is wealth and we are all just trying to adapt to this new normal. Just smile and do what makes you happy !
If you feel what Im feeling I would love for you to share this and please check my positive posts on Instagram link here
Thank you for reading my posts and hope they give you positive vibes and make a little sense of this life we are in 😊
Author : Kavita Basi